My Cool Cat - Part 2

November 1st , a day after his birthday was when the verdict from the vet sounded like a thunder on a beautiful day.... there was liquid around the cavity of his heart that blocking his lung to expand, in other word he only had about 20% of his lung capacity!! 

We discussed about some treatments and surgeries but it came down to the high risk of the old age. To make a story short, what the vet recommendation was euthanasia. I did not want to accept the reality. I took Purrzy home thinking what I did wrong? Did I not paying enough attention on him until it got to this point? 

I felt useless. I could not stop crying on the way home from the vet. I put him on the floor as soon as I got home .. I sat down next to him .. pet him and whispered ..”It sucks getting old, handsome .. but we will go thru’ this together!” .. I heard his soft purr as if he was agreeing with me.

From then on he showed me more and more affections, he was still had desire to eat and drink. I remember having the thought on my mind that the vet was wrong and Purrzy is fine.

Until a week before Monday he jumped up to my bed and slept with me a whole entire night. One thing he never done before. He always jump up onto my bed, let me pet him until I fell a sleep then he would jump down and sleep on the floor next to me, he would never stay in my bed for a long time until that night. 

He also was not drink and eat as much anymore .. getting less and less everyday .. 

Last Thursday He jumped on my lap and sat with me for a while .. on Friday He stayed in the bathroom and never came out, even when I called him . 

Last Monday before I left to work I brought his water and his food to the bathroom, so He didn’t have to walk far if he wanted to eat or drink, then when I pet him his body was somewhat stiffed! In my heart I was kinda knew it just a matter of time .. My heart ached .. I did not know why I said what I said ...” Boy, you can go on your own tern, don’t worry about me, I will be ok..” 

That day at work he was heavy on my mind. When I came home, I found him laying on the floor by the door as he was welcoming me home .. but he was gone .. I fell on the ground and cried like a baby .. 

I was loosing my mind and a chunk of my soul, both in the same time. 

I felt a hollow in my heart . How could I help this process? How could I not forget my Purrzy, who was and is so much a part of my existence? How could I face every day without him?